Lambi Judaai….

Bichre abhi toh hum ab kal parso… Jiyungi main kaise iss haal mein barso….

Tears fill my eyes as these lines play…

It seems like yesterday when I would think and reminisce jiyungi main kaise?

Well , honestly, I am alive… I lived through that ripping pain… Lived to tell the story of my heartbreak and how I put those pieces together…

Maut na aayi teri yaad kyun aayi…

How I wished to be dead than feel the pain at that time…

But everytime I thought of death, I wanted to live… To live to see what was on the other side of that exhausting pain…

Haaye…. Lambi judaai… Char din aandaa… Pyaar o rabba badi lambi judaai…

I lived in hope. Prayed night and day… That the judaai would end soon….

Time played its part .. The distance made you forget me…

I still think of everything that happened… Everything in my life spirals back to you…

Its a whirlpool of emotions : hatred, anger, frustration, dejection, loss, affection, friendship… Which is strongest? I fail to comprehend!

Baag ujad gaye khilne se pehle.. Panchi bichar gaye milne se pehle…

I don’t even know what I feel at this point! Its a surge of so many things and nothing at all…..

What remains of this song even after so many years is just one line…..

Kaise jiyungi iss haal mein barson…

Even after so many years… I still ask myself, as I weep a little…. Kaise jiyungi iss haal mein barso?!

RM

26.3.2021